The Wedding Banquet
is an America-Taiwanese drama released in 1993 and directed by Ang Lee. In
Manhattan, Wai-Tung lives happily with his partner Simon, embracing his
homosexual lifestyle. His parents in Taiwan, however, are unaware of their
son’s sexual preference and incessantly send him dating service applications to
fill out in order to find the right woman. In their old age, they are more
determined than ever to see Wai-Tung married with children. In addition to this
agitation, Wai-Tung must constantly put up with Wei-Wei, a tenant living in his
building who can never afford her rent. A poor artist from China in need of a
green chard, Wei-Wei becomes an accomplice in a win-win plan devised by Simon. Wai-Tung
will wed Wei-Wei in order for her to get a green card and to get his parents
off his back. When Wai-Tung’s parents come to Manhattan, they are dismayed by
the fact that the couple will not have a traditional wedding banquet for the
occasion. Following a rushed wedding, the parents are completely dour. But on the
insistence of a family friend who happens to own a restaurant, a wedding
banquet is planned. A myriad of headaches for Wai-Tung ensue and a strain
between him and Simon develops.
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The concept of tradition is a strong theme in The Wedding Banquet. Wai-Tung and his
parents live worlds apart, figuratively as well as literally. His parents in
Taiwan are still deeply invested in the traditions they grew up with, but he’s
living a very progressive, liberated life in New York. He’s become detached
from his own culture, as if ashamed or embarrassed by it. His parents believe
in following the old ways, and even if Wai-Tung doesn’t initially see it, there
is a pride that comes with tradition. His parents are trying to connect him to
that pride, one of the few lasting things a parent can instill in their child.
In terms of marriage, the wedding banquet is more for the family than the
newlyweds. The parents sit at the top of event, looking out on the festivities
and happy family members. In this culture, a wedding is simply not a legitimate
wedding without the banquet, no matter where the marriage is taking place. Wai-Tung’s
parents don’t want him to forget where he comes from.
Accepting your children for who they are was another theme
that revealed itself in the final half of the film. During Wai-Tung’s parents’
stay, boyfriend Simon stays in the house under the guise of a ‘friend.’ The
charades Wai-Tung and Wei-Wei play, though initially his idea, wear on Simon.
The increasingly tense exchanges between him and Wai-Tung, though shrouded in a
language barrier, are not lost on Wai-Tung’s father. His mother is less
perceptive, needing Wai-Tung to come clean and admit his homosexuality. Even
then, she denies it. At this point, she has developed a bond with Wei-Wei that she
doesn’t want ruined. Surprisingly, it is Wai-Tung’s old school military father
that accepts Simon as his son’s true lover. More offended by the fact that he
was lied to, he gives Simon an angbao: a gift symbolizing acceptance of the
relationship. When the parents leave for home, Wai-Tung’s father shakes Simon’s
hand with the knowledge that he will bring real happiness to his son and that
their love is genuine. Wai-Tung’s mother will take some time, but we can assume
she comes around as well.
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Another film of acceptance, The Wedding Banquet dealt specifically with the issue of
homosexuality and its conflict with tradition. Wai-Tung has made his home in
America, far removed from conservative Taiwan. His parents are no doubt proud
of the success he’s achieved, but like all parents, they are eager to see him
get married and give them grandchildren. Unfortunately for them, his lifestyle
totally clashes with their wishes. The
games Wai-Tung and Wei-Wei played to fool mom and dad were fun to watch, but I
appreciated the turn to a more dramatic tone. More than any other aspect of a
film, I’m drawn to character interaction. The highlight of the film for me was
Wai-Tung’s father, Mr. Gao. A quiet man, a respected man, and as it turns out,
an open-minded man. While Wai-Tung is preoccupied with an identity crisis that
includes sex with Wei-Wei and her eventual pregnancy, Mr. Gao watches from the
sideline and internally comes to terms with the evidence he’s discovering. A
military man expects a rugged, heterosexual son, but in his own way, Wai-Tung
is just as strong a son as he could have hoped for. That he would go through so
much to please his parents both honors and saddens Mr. Gao. Seeing him accept
Simon was one of the best scenes of the film. Director Ang Lee did a great job portraying
the celebration of a wedding banquet, the expectations preceding it, and the
culture-blind pressures of living up to our parents’ expectations.
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